I'm the Boss!

Joey has become so sassy these last few weeks since I spent those few days in the hospital with chest pains. He won't leave my side for a minute, which is cool, except he's gotten a little confused with who's the boss. I ask him to pick up the toys and his usual response is that its too much and he needs help. So I usually get down on my knees to help him pick them up and before I know it I'm the only one in the room and when I call him back to help me, what is his response - "You're doing a good job Momma, you don't need my help". I think I've explained about a thousand times now that I did not make the mess, he did, and therefore it's his responsibility to clean it up.

Dinner time is another battle. He never wants to eat what's on the menu but wants something specific for dinner, usually chicken nuggets. He's pretty much ruled out vegetables and when I force him to eat them he just chews and chews until it's the consistency of juice and then refuses to swallow. I'm really getting frustrated. Take tonight for instance. We had red beans and rice with beef in it and canteloupe. He ate the melon right away and started on the rice and beans and actually told me it was good after 2-3 bites. However that's where it ended. I keep telling him he needs to finish it, especially as I'd only given him a small amount to begin with. His response, "I only like the beef". I told him I didn't care that he was to eat it all and he tells me, "I don't want to". When I responded back, crankily I admit, that I didn't care and I was the boss so he had to do what I said he just smiled at me and says "No your not Momma, I'm the boss". It took everything in me not to just let him have it. So I've taken a stand and I don't care if he has to sit at the table until bedtime, he's going to eat every bite of what Larry made for dinner and if he doesn't he can darn well go to bed hungry. If that makes me mean, so be it. I've had about enough of this.

He's also gotten to speaking so sassy not only to me, but every other adult too. My sister, grandparents, etc. It's really becoming quite embarrasing. I'm trying to discipline without spanking but timeouts aren't working, neither is talking it out. What's a mom to do when her child refuses to use good manners and thinks its funny when we get upset with him. I was raised that you respect your elders and don't talk back. I wanted Joey to grow up where he felt free to express himself but in a polite and respectful way. If any of you out there reading this has any ideas please let me know because I've run out of options here, at least any that are working.

Lifes Ups and Downs

So much going on and I've been so lax in updating my blog. I'm going to try to do a post at least once a week beginning now.

Joey is getting so big, at our last measurements he was 42 inches tall and weighing in at 40 lbs. He seems taller to me now so we already need to measure him again. I think he's going to pass me up in height before he gets out of elementary school at the pace he's going now.

We've been doing all kinds of things lately - swimming, playdates with friends, library each week. He loves to have stories read to him each evening and I've found some great pre-readers that combine words along with pictures so that he can participate in reading with Larry and I. Now I just need to work on getting him to recognize his letters. We've mastered colors and shapes and he can count to 20 (although he always skips 13 and 16 for some odd reason). I was going to enroll him in preschool this year but it's just not in the budget, so I'm going to be teaching him at home. Another of my friends, Jessica, has a boy who is one year older than Joe and we're going to try to get together 2x a week to have our own "preschool".

Joey is back to swimming like a fish and has even begun to swim under water this year. We have him wear a Speedo life vest most of the time but it seems that every time he's in the pool he starts with it on, then has us take it off so he can swim on his own for a little while and when he gets tired, he has us put the vest back on. He's taken to doing cannon balls off the side of the pool with Daddy, and loves to have Aunt Crystal come play with him in the pool. She lets him dive off her shoulders and spins him around in the water. He just loves it. I don't get to play as much with him in the pool because ours is not heated and even though we have a solar cover, it rarely gets above 82 and I need it to be a little warmer or else I get flare ups with my fibromyalgia. I'm so thankful that he has others folks in his life who can participate in this aspect of his life while I sit on the sidelines watching and taking pictures.

I've been having a bad time lately with my health. A lot of flare ups and if that wasn't enough now I've begun having intense symptoms with regard to my pseudo tumor ceribri. In fact it's gotten so bad that I've had to go back on Diamox (which I hate as it has horrible side affects) and am scheduled to have a lumbar puncture (formerly called a spinal tap) next week. None of these things are fun and this situation with my health is really starting to get me down. Thank goodness for Larry who has been so supportive and helpful throughout it all.

Mom is back with us and Joey is so happy (most of the time) to have her back. He's gotten a little sassy lately and it doesn't always sit well with her, or me for that fact. He loves to spend time with her in the backyard and will just sit at the table with her and have conversations. I have no idea what they talk about but they always seem very engrossed in their talks.


Larry is doing great in his job and with his schooling. He's past the halfway point in achieving his AA degree and is on the deans honor list. I'm so proud of him and think he's setting a wondering example for Joey.

Larry's Uncle Brian passed away recently and we're all feeling the loss. He was probably the kindest and gentlest soul I've ever met. And he was so wonderful with Joey and his cousin Elsa, always making time for them. He will be truly missed by all of us.

Well that's about it for now. Will post more next week.

Ahhh The Joys of Childhood

I baked a cake last week for the family, chocolate with chocolate frosting.  And yes before you ask, I did get distracted and burnt the edges.  Mom and Larry said it was fine, but I could taste the burnt after effects.  Having said that, it still didn't go to waste as Mom, Larry and Joey still loved it.

Anyway Joey got to help me mix the batter and pour it in the pan.  Then once I put it in the oven to bake, he kept coming back to me every few minutes, "Is it done yet, mom?".  He must have did this 20 times... I guess I should have listened to him and maybe my cake wouldn't have burnt.

When I took it out he was anxious to frost it right away and I had to explain to him that it had to cool before we could frost it.  He didn't understand and kept asking why.  Why and No are his two favorite words these days.  Even when you answer his why question, he just proceeds to ask why to whatever answer you gave him and this can go on and on until finally, exasperated, I'll end up saying "because mommy said so".  I'm always so disappointed in myself when I hear that come out of my mouth.

Finally the cake was cool enough and Joey and I opened the can of chocolate fudge frosting and began spreading it on the cake.  Joey is getting good at spreading as he's begun helping to make his own sandwiches at lunch and loves spreading the peanut butter, jelly, mayonaisse, etc.  When we'd cover the cake completely I scooped the rest of the frosting out with the spatular and let him have at it.  He loved it.  I loved watching him.  Before he was done he had frosting all over his mouth and looked like he had a mustache just like his daddy.

The joys of childhood can be found in the simplest things.  So can the joys of mommyhood.

Cinco de Mayo Celebration

Yesterday Joey and I headed out to Hagen Park to meet up with some of our friends for a Cinco de Mayo celebration.  There were six of us moms and nine kids altogether and we had a really nice time hanging out in the glorious sunshine.

The kids got to do bubbles, play on the playground (the swings being the big hit of the day), play emergency spy games, build mounds with their shovels and buckets out of the tanbark and last but not least, break open the pinata.  It was a string pinata so no bats were involved, but the kids loved taking turns pulling the strings and even after the special string was pulled that released the candy, they still wanted to continue pulling the strings until there were none left attached.  The candy and toys rained down on the ground and it was so cute to watch them want to dive in and get some but each unsure if they were "allowed" so they held back until all us moms hollered "go for it, get some goodies".  It was interesting to watch what they all picked.  Joey went for the suckers and some gum (which I made him put back since he likes to swallow it), then sweeties, and last a boucy ball.  Later it was sweet to watch him offer up his bounty to some of the other kids without any prompting from anyone else.

As for me, I got to see some friends I hadn't seen in quite a while and the opportunity to catch up on what everyone else had been up to.  It was nice to swap stories, share parenting oops and get some sound advice from others who had been exactly where I am now.  I'm so fortunate to have my mommy groups and to be able to create the friendships that I have.

Time is slipping by so fast

Been a while since I last blogged and since then we've celebrated Easter, been on quite a few park play dates, and celebrated four birthdays... luckily they were combined in one party.  It was a lot of fun, 60's themed, all peace and love and lots of bubbles for the kids (and us adults if we're being honest).

I've been just too run down to feel much like doing anything, even typing.  I'm trying to switch that up and get more active; just bought a beachcomber bicycle and am hoping to work myself up to nice meandering rides along the paved bike trail that's out here in Rancho Murieta and that runs along the river.  Larry, Joe and I are starting to do family days in the park on Sunday afternoons.  This past Sunday was our first and we took a kite, bubbles and big wands, some chalk and had a blast.  By the time we wound up our day, we had over a dozen kids blowing bubbles with us and taking turns flying the kite.  It was one of the best days ever.

Larry's taken the cover off the pool, and our pool guy has begun to get it back under normal levels.  In a couple of weeks we'll put the solar cover on and heat it up so we can begin swimming in it.  I know mom, Joey and Larry are looking really forward to that.  I'm looking forward to it too, but don't use it as much as them since I like it to be at least 80 degrees.  Plus I'm looking forward to all the BBQ's we have with family and friends during the nicer weather, the fresh corn from Sloughouse, and all the other fresh produce that comes out of Davis Ranch just down the road from us.

Momma's Helper

Joey has become my little helper when it comes to laundry.  I sort it all out in to different load piles, start the washer and then he starts bringing stuff from one pile or another and throwing it in the machine.  He has pretty good aim to.  Then when it's done washing, I put it on the door of the dryer and he places it inside and adds the dryer sheet and shuts the door.  Now if I could only teach him to fold (lol).

Yeah for blue skies

Joey and I spent our time enjoying the beautiful day given us by creating chalk masterpieces on our driveway and having toy car races down the same driveway.  While out there we also got to see several huge hawks, a half dozen airplanes, one jet and a helicopter all of which Joey pointed out with an exlamation of WOW!

I really enjoy just sitting back and seeing the world through his eyes.  It's amazing what is brought to one's attention when it seems brand new once again.  I'm so thankful to have this little, headstrong, man in my life.

I got the blues

Winter weather has got me down and out or should I say in as I feel like a prisoner in my own home.  I've had to cancel on three playdates in a row because it was just to nasty and windy out to be running around in the car unnecessarily. 

Poor Joey this morning just kept telling me over and over, "I want my friends" referring to whom I'm not sure but am thinking the boys at his old day care.  At least if we had to miss playdates he still got in some fun each week when he was going to Miss JoAnna's.  I tried tracking down my sister in law to see if we could get together with her and Elsa for a playdate since they only live down the street, but had no success in making contact.  What a bummer.

And it looks like we're bound to be housebound for at least another couple of days.  I sure hope we get a break by this weekend or I, and Joey, are going to go seriously crazy.

Daddy's Boy

Joe sure is his Daddy's boy.  It makes my heart happy when he always wants to help his Daddy with whatever he's doing.  Just this morning Larry was loading up a motorcycle to take over to his Dad's and Joey had to be right in the mix.  He lifted and carried one of the ramps to the truck and helped Daddy put it in.  Then he rooted him on as he rolled the motorcycle up and into the back of the pickup.  They really are two peas in a pod. 

I can just imagine in the years to come the projects they'll do together from building birdhouses, to boyscouts, to restoring old cars and motorcycles.  Makes me a little jealous, but at the same time like I said earlier it makes my heart happy... and I know that Joe and I will have our special moments too from hanging out in nature and camping, to getting his first dog, learning to cook and do laundry - you know the things a wife will really appreciate down the road (lol), to just having fun together.

For now though it's all about boys and their toys.

Cake Decorating Continued

Crystal and I had a double class last night with our Wilton Course 2.  Unfortunately both of our Royal Icing batches were a bust.  Somewhere along the way we must have touched something that was tainted with grease - a spatula, a container, something and it made our icing break down.  You'd think no big deal, except last night was the night we were to be making all of our flowers for next weeks cake and ours just didn't hold up at all.  We were at least able to practice each style, but they definately were not keepers.  My friend JoAnne's icing was perfect and she made some really beautiful flowers all done in Christmas colors.

Now I have to make a new batch after I wash everything in Dawn with a touch of vinegar just to make sure any and all grease is removed.  Then I have to pray that I remember how to do each flower.  As it was my favorite, the daisy, is the one flower that the teacher couldn't remember how to do correctly so she was going to go home, practice and make enough daisies to provide each of us students with what we need.  Then she'll show us the proper way to make them next week.

I swore this was to be my last class, but my girlfriends are guilting me into continuing because otherwise there won't be enough participants to keep the classes going.  I'm not sure if I'm really enjoying it or not, though I do enjoy the company and the creativity aspect of it.  Oh well I guess only time will tell if I continue on or say enough is enough and that I've learned what I need to know to make Joey's birthday cakes.

Cake Decorating 101 Continues

Well Crystal and I, and my other mommy friends, had our second class this past Monday.  It was a lot more fun this week as we actually got to work on something.  I did the recommended rainbow cake and if I do say so myself, it came out pretty good.  Larry took that one to work for his coworkers to enjoy and I began my own cake number 2 for our family to enjoy.  This time I free handed it all the way doing a simple daisy and some generic designs that we'd practiced on the night before.  It turned out cute also and was a big hit with mom, Joey and Larry to when he got home from work.

I can't wait for next week when we attempt to learn out to make those fancy roses you always see on the store bakery birthday cakes.  Should be fun, and I'm sure a little frustrating too.

Change of Format

I had to change my background, again, because I just realized that my sister and I had chosen the same one.  How dare she, she knows that "leaves" are my thing so she should have left that one for me to utilize.  Oh well, I think this new background is cute as well.

In future Sis - step away from the leaves backgrounds (lol).

Sister-in-Love Rocks!

My sister-in-love Kelli is just the coolest.  We attempted to have a creative day together yesterday, but everything seemed to be going against us and we still had a good time.  We were going to do card stamping only the coordinator of the event didn't have any extra supplies and I tried to add Kelli in to the mix at the last minute, so we had to scratch that one of our list.  We then thought we'd go to a place called "Color Me Mine" to paint ceramics only once we started adding up the costs we were a definate NO.  $10 for the studio fee per person, $1 to fire your piece, and then the cost of your piece which started at $12 and went up to $60 for a big ol' piggy bank.  That's just ridiculous if you ask me, or Kelli.  So we headed over to the Bead Shop hoping to get into a class and got there right as they ended for the day.  It seemed creativity was not to be ours on this day.

We decided to get a bit and had lunch at Rubio's.  Kelli had never been but I think I have made her into a convert.  We both had tacos - she had carniasatas and I had surf and turf.  Both were delicious.  We then went on the serch for a crimp iron for her hair.  We found straighteners of every kind but no crimps.

I took her on a little tour of down town Ranch Cordova, we checked out some new homes, and ended with a yummy treat at Yogurtville.  And all the while we talked and laughed and just had a relaxing time of it all.

We ended the day at Wal-Mart, both buying a $3.84 ceramic picture frame of sea life that came with five little paint colors.  We're going to do them on our own and then compare, and at last we'll get to be creative.

Kelli thanks for spending the day with me.  I really enjoyed our girl time.

Wacky Ways

That's me, just plain wacky these days.  Days feel like night time to me, nights like days.  Fatiqued all the time but down right exhausted usually by 3-4 in the afternoon.  I've been hitting the sack before Joey lately, and then waking up 3 hours later for the night.  I try to go back in and get back to sleep after a little while, but it doesn't seem to work very well.

I'm so foggy these days that literally I feel like I need to write myself a note when I need to go potty that says "You were on your way to the bathroom" because if Joey interrupts me enroute, I can't remember where I was going by the time I've taken care of his needs.  Hope this is just a phase of my Fibromyalgia and not something more menacing like senility or dementia.

I swear sometimes I feel as though I'm 83 instead of 43, although I must say most of the 80+'s that I know have more get up and go than I do at my age.  There off to the casino, or playing Bunko with friends, going out to lunch, etc.  Just having fun.  Can't say I have a lot of fun these days, though I'm trying.

I'm doing a card stamping class once a month and Crystal and I just signed up for the first course of a cake decorating class that will be on Monday evenings for four weeks.  Hope I can manage to stay awake to take it.  I'll have to be sure and get in a nap as soon as Larry gets home from work so that I'll have the energy to go and focus.  Seems like everything in my life these days takes a lot of pre-planning in order to actually get accomplished.

Ahhh, the wacky ways of being an older mom with health issues.  It's my life, so I've gotta love it, and for the most part do.

Boys will be boys

Man oh man, Joey decided that wake up time today was 4:00 AM.  Nothing I did could cajole him into getting back into bed - his or mine.  So being all boy he has been on the go since that time.  We're dogsitting two dogs - Soc (a Chihuahua mix) and Leia (a Lab/Pit mix), and Joey has been chasing them through the house for the last two hours.  I had to put them in their pens for a while just so they could get some peace.

I've been trying to get some of my group organizer stuff done this morning on the computer and it's all but been impossible with two dogs and Joey vying for space under the computer desk.  Talk about akward.  If it's not the dogs pushing up against the chair making it move it's Joey banging his head on the keyboard tray.  I give up... I might as well join in the fray as I'm not gonna get anything done with this chaos taking place.

Luckily Bubba has just found himself a place to hunker down and is being my good boy.  He's just trying to stay off of the boys radar I think.  Wish I could follow that plan.  I just want to sleep but that will have to wait til Larry gets home and that won't be til sometimes after 3:00 this afternoon. 

Wish me luck, and I just might make it through today.

Things are changing

Today is a bad day for me... my hands are stiff, I'm off-balance, I have continuous pain in my elbows and hips,  not to mention my back.  It's day's like this I appreciate so much having JoAnna to help take care of Joey.  But even that is changing.  I had to tell her yesterday that I was going to have to cut down to two days a week because of budgeting (in reality it probably should have been cut down to one day) and she in return told me that she may not be able to accomodate him much longer on a part time basis.  That made me so sad, but I totally understand.  Her youngest will be going in to pre-school starting in January and she is thinking of going back to college to get a degree in physical therapy.  I'm so happy for her, but don't know what I'll do.

I seem to have more bad days than good anymore, although I don't usually share that with anyone.  Joey going to Miss JoAnna's has been a godsend as it's given me a mini break every other day during the week, allowing me to rest so that I could have more energy in the afternoons when I have him home with me.  This isn't how I imagined raising my child(ren) would be when I was in my 20's, but then again I wasn't living with constant pain in my 20's either.  I thought I'd be able to do it all - play, discipline, life in general when it comes to raising little ones.

Joey's growing so fast that I can barely pick him up anymore because it's just to painful now that he weighs over 30 pounds.  Needless to say this has caused me more than one crying bout.  I want to be able to snuggle with him, and play, and share adventures with him.  I want him to know about the wonders of outdoors, camping and hiking, bike riding... all those things that normal folks just take for granted.  I don't take much of anything for granted these days.  I know that each moment I get to participate in is a true blessing.  I just wish I could participate more.

Okay, that's enough wallowing now.  I'm going to snap out of it.  Be thankful for what I have, and that we have a fun day decorating pumpkins with my Cradles to Crayons group planned for this morning.

Sleep eludes me... again

Poor Larry.  He's been trying to get a nice night's sleep and I've pretty much made that all but impossible with my tossing and turning, snapping at him not to touch me, and getting in and out of bed every 20 minutes.  I took an Ambien tonight at 7:30, was out before I knew it, and wide awake at 10:00.  From that point on I haven't been able to regain my sleeping momentum.  Unfortunately this is my story almost every night and I have to say literally, and figuratively, I'm getting tired of it.  This is not a pattern that I can live with.  The less sleep I get, the less patience I seem to have for everything and everyone.  It turns me into someone that I don't want to be and I don't know how to fix that except to get more rest which is all but impossible.

I guess I'm going to have to see my doctor yet again to discuss my pain levels, newest drugs available, something, anything that will possible help me out with this situation.  God I'm beginning to really detest doctors, and medications, and tests that really tell you nothing.

Okay that's enough of a rant.  I'm going to try once again to reclaim sleep.  Wish me luck.

Well as you tell by the post time it's the middle of the night, again. I just can't sleep. The bummer is it makes it a vicious cycle... Pain's so high I can't sleep. Because I can't sleep, I'm exhausted. Because I'm exhausted I don't feel like doing anything, including housework. Because the house is such a disaster it makes me feel even worse and a bit depressed. Depression triggers flare ups in people with Fibromyalgia, and there I am back at the beginning with the pain.

It's just crazy and no matter what I try, nothing seems to break that cycle these days. I need help, and yet feel as though I've exhausted all my resources - medically, familialy, socially. People get tired of hearing about your woes all the time, I get that, try to keep it to myself most of the time, but still it's hard to get through the day these days, and even harder it seems to get through the night.

Such is life, well my life anyway.

Me, Myself, and I

If Larry was doing service to others yesterday, I was only doing service to myself. It was a bad day yesterday, and apparently is going to go in to today as well. On a pain level of 1-10, I'd say I'm at a 13. It's ridiculous. All I did yesterday was hang out with a girlfriend so that Joey and her son Sandr could have some fun together. Literally we sat and talked for a little over 2 hours, I came home and fed Joe lunch, and then thank goodness Larry arrived on the scene and I could go lay down. Which is exactly what I did for the next several hours.

Larry made dinner - Cheesy Enchilada Hamburger Helper only he made his with tri tip streak strips and of course extra gooey cheese thrown in for good measure. It was delicious - we all loved it, only I couldn't manage to keep mine down. My pain was at such an all time high that it was revolting at doing anything that required any effort, including eating. Let me tell you it's not much fun.

I've been off and on all night with my attempts at sleep. Poor Larry is not having a very restful night's sleep either since when I am in there I'm trying to cuddle with him, or tossing and turning, messing up the blankets... I think you get the picture. Then I just feel excessively in pain, and as quietly as possible get up, move around, try to take my own focus away from the pain, and I must admit I'm having a hard time doing this tonight. Even my breath work isn't working for me tonight.

Oh well, I guess this is my life, and that it's going to continue to be my life, and so it makes sense to treasure each and every moment that makes itself a part of this thing I call life and to draw close to my husband and son, and the remainder of my family and friends, to absorb as much of the good stuff as possible with each and every one of them.

Up to no Good!

So I go into my bedroom to use the ladies room and when I come out, Joey's sitting on the floor in the hallway laying up against Bubba. As soon as he see's me he jumps up, says "Uh oh" and grabs his behind and runs. I think... he's been up to no good, but I decide to let it go and discover it when I discover it. I get my cup of tea, sit on the couch and try to find something on that we'll both like. He keeps his distance and just watches me. After a couple of minutes he disappears into the kitchen and comes back in to me with the bear honey container, minus a lid and says again "Uh oh" and "I made a mess". I look at him more closely and sure enough, there is honey on his shirt and in his hair. I try not to laugh as he's being so serious. I say to him, "show mommy" and we venture into the kitchen. On the table I'd been utilizing while I reorganize my pantry is the 'mess'. 3/4 of the jar of honey are spilled all over it, and around the bottom of the items that I hadn't yet put back in to the pantry, and next to this is a wad of paper towels. My little guy actually tried to clean up his mess all by himself. I'm so proud. I quickly sponge up the mess, strip him of his clothes and throw him in the tub for a quick washing.

When were done, and he's smelling all clean and fresh I walk back into the kitchen to reheat my tea. As I do though, I go through our family room instead of the living room and notice my feet keep sticking to the floor - the carpeted floor. He apparently had brought the honey in here, spilling it a little here and a little there, in his effort to share the good stuff with our new bunny Peter. Peter too has evidence on him as he has 2-3 spots that are all sticky.

Lesson learned... always take him in the potty with me!