I am the piano man

Joe had his first piano lesson compliments of Grammie Monson. He loved all the electroncis and being able to make the sounds change as well as the songs in the system. I missed seeing it life because Larry took him over on an afternoon that I just wasn't feeling too great, but luckily for me my wonderful hubby brought me home a snippet of video he shot. Hope you enjoy it as much as I am.

Quack Quack

Joe had his first experience feeding the ducks, geese, and pigeons at McKinley Park today. To say he was enthralled would be an understatement. We started off the day feeding them and then went on to the playground for a little fun with the other kids only every time I turned around he was running back off towards the duck pond. Thank goodness they had it fenced off near the playground otherwise I might have ended up with my own wet little duckling.

We took a lot of bread and some crackers which turned out to be a good thing since the other mom's tended to hand out whole slices of bread which promptly went sailing into the pond fully intact. I'd had the forethought to tear mine into little pieces prior to leaving our house which provided more than enough for Joe and some of his pals.

It was a real joy to watch him find so much joy in such a simple thing.

Here comes the flop!

We hosted "poker night" at our place last night and boy was it a lot of fun. Perhaps I'm just saying that because I walked away with everybody's chips but it seems like everyone (by everyone I mean the LOSERS - ha ha) enjoyed themselves. What was so ironic is that I'm probably the most inept when it comes to the game and in fact took a pot when I hadn't even looked at my cards but was betting each round anyway. And I won the buy-in... a wopping six dollars!

My favorite part though was the realization that while it was just family playing the game, they are also awesome friends now, and that makes my life rich beyond compare.

PJ Water Play

Joe and I had a PJ day last week while we hung out at home. As a treat I filled up his red wagon with water and let him splash and play. Water is one of his favorite things in the whole world and since it was such a warm and beautiful day out I figured why not.


As you can see by the photo's he had a blast and mom and I got quite a bit of enjoyment watching him make a big wet mess.

Joe's 1st Day of Daycare

Well Joe attended his first day of day care at Miss JoAnna's and we both managed to survive it with very few tears. He'll be attending every Wednesday from 9:00 AM until about 2:30 PM. She has a pretty regulated structure with pre-school activities in the morning - a craft, a christian teaching, and basic 123 ABC teachings. Then it's free play followed by a healthy lunch followed by a nap. Once they're rested she does a craft project in the afternoon and then it's back to free play until pick up time.


I dropped him off this morning and Daddy picked him up when he got off work at 2:00 PM. Joe brought home two pieces of artwork; the first is a monkey face that they made utilizing paper plates and the second is based on the story of Jonah and the whale. Joe was so happy when he got home and animated so I think he really enjoyed it. She only has boys on Wednesdays all under 5 so I'm hoping he'll make some good friends through this venue and learn the social skills required to play with other munchkins his own age. To date he socializes better with adults than kids, but then again he spends more time with grown-ups too as a result of my health issues.

And me... well this was the first time since he was born that I truly had "ME" time. I went to the library and browsed the stacks for over an hour filling my basket with a lot of mysteries and ideas for kids play time. Then I went and had a solitary lunch with no interruptions (well none after I asked the staff to stop asking me if everything was to my liking - they had a laugh when I explained why) and then I went and enjoyed a Chai Tea at Starbucks, sat outside enjoying the sunshine and did some reading. It was really a relaxing day with no worries.

I think this day care thing is going to be beneficial to both Joe and I. He gets regular interraction with kids and I get a much needed break mid-week just when I need it most.

St. Patty Day Celebrations

Larry, Mom and I hosted a St. Patty Day Celebration with all of our immediate family. Crystal, Jeff and Jeff's brother Curt came, as well as all of Larry's siblings and their spouses - Mary, EriK and Elsa; Chuck and Kelli. My mother and falther in law - Bonnie and Larry Sr, and Uncle Brian.

Mom and I cooked 4 Corn Beef Rounds, 3 cabbage heads, 23 potatoes and too many carrots to count and it all turned out marvelous. Bonnie brought dessert - All American Chocolate Cake from Costco that was to die for it was so sinfully delicious. Larry Sr. brought Clontarf Single Malt Irish Whiskey which all the men partook of in addition to some specialized irish beers and.... they all managed to get up this morning and go to work.

In addition to St. Patty's we celebrated Mary and Eriks birthdays (3/24) and Mom's birthday (3/25). Joe and Elsa got to have a play date. And the rest of us just got to relax, have some good food and conversations and just enjoy one anothers company. It turned out to be a really wonderful evening.

Happy Birthday Gracie

My wonderful great-niece Grace celebrated her 4th birthday yesterday at Chuck E. Cheese. She is growing into such a beautiful child, both inside and out. She's in love with all the princess' and Tinkerbell, reading and coloring, and her latest interest - dancing. I know her daddy would be so proud of the little young lady she's becoming. Each time I see her it takes me back to when Kenneth was her age as they have so many of the same mannerisms; the way she sits, loves life and her beautiful smile... always ready to have her photo taken, just like KC. I was blessed to have Larry with me as he handled Joe for most of the play time with an assist here and there from Crystal. Joe sure loves all the lights and sounds and running from one thing to the next. And my sister was so on the money when she said Joey was a cheap date because he does just like to try to climb on the rides with the other kids whether he knows them or not. He must get that from his Dad because Larry too is always trying to get the best deals around and you can't get much better than free. All in all it was a great time even though I went into it exhausted and full of pain. Watching all the kids enjoying themselves really raised my spirits up and made me smile over and over. For your viewing enjoyment I've included a small snippet of video I took of Joe and Grace enjoying themselves at CEC.

Another Sleepless Night

Well I tried taking one of my heavy duty sleeping pills, but as usual sleep was not to come. I layed down at 9:30 hoping to get some good rest as I'd only slept maybe 3hours the night before. I even managed to convince Larry to come join me so we could cuddle and stay warm. That lasted all of about a half an hour before I had to get up out of frustration, filled with pain and achiness that just wasn't going away. I guess you could say that the medication was not working on this night. So I kissed Larry goodnight and told him sweet dreams and then got up to move around, get the blood flowing in my joints, watch a little tv. That was several hours ago.

Now I'm gonna try to take a few of my lighter weight sleeping pills and give it another go. I hope they kick in and give me the ability to sleep through my pain. We have Gracie's birthday party to attend tomorrow at 4:00 PM and I do not want to be 100% grumpy and tired. I want to be able to enjoy the festivities and have some fun with the kids.

To top it off I'm having chest pains that just don't want to quit and do you think I can find my nitro when I need it.... NO. Thank goodness my heart is sound and these are usually the result of an asophogeul spasm (at least that's the latest theory).

Okay no more typing as it's getting harder to do and I have to try and find those meds.

Hope tomorrow is a better day.

Lions, Tigers and Bears... oh MY!!!

On Thursday Joe and I joined my Fabulous 40's Momma's group at the Folsom Zoo, which in actuality is an animal sanctuary. We got there right as they opened at 10:00 AM and were fortunate to see animals out and about in every catagory. Their were 5 big black bears - my personal favorite; 2 huge tigers - one of Joe's favorites, a sweet little herd of deer that would come up to the fence enclosure and lick your fingers, as well as wolfs, wolf-hybrids, mules, a big boar or warthog (like in Lion King), horses, ponies, goats, sheep and birds of all kinds. They had a couple of Mountain Lions that were just beatiful with really huge feet. And the sweetest little monkeys that were so small they looked like a newborn baby.

The sun was shining, the temperature perfect and Joe was having as much fun people watching as animal watching. Their were four of us mom's and one dad (we don't discriminate) and we each had one child with us which was pretty manageable. It allowed for the kids to interact with each other and for us grown ups to have an opportunity to converse as we walked around.


We ended the day with a ride on the miniture train or at least we attempted. I was going to stay behind and watch all the gear while the rest went on the ride. Joe had other ideas. He was godd for the first 5 minutes or so but then it was just taking to long for the engineer to get tickets punched, let off a little steam and get moving so Joe had a meltdown and wanted Mommy (and snacks) and so he missed out.

I decided at that point that a nap was called for and so we headed home while the others went on to enjoy a picnic in the ajoining park. All in all it was a wonderful outing, and although I felt the after affects of all the walking, it was worth it to see the joy on Joe and the other kids faces.

The Terrible Two's are here

Yeah, yeah I know my son is gifted... ahead of the curve, but does everything have to come early? I mean he's only 16 1/2 months and yet we have entered the TANTRUM kingdom and Joe believes himself to be king. Boy is he ever confused because we all know it's the Queen who really rules the kingdom, and that would be me. Stay tuned to see who has the last laugh.

And just to show you what I mean here are a few of the latest photo's of Joe in "action". (Even grumpy he's still beautiful to me.)

Romance is in the air!

Well Larry and I had a very joyful time this past Sunday. We ended up dropping Joe off at Crystal's around 9:30 and then we were off on our adventure. We decided to go to Denios Market and Auction in Roseville as I'd never been and always wanted to check it out. It's sort of a farmers market and a swap meet combined. We picked up some juicy fruit and chili's for Larry's next b-b-que adventure. We didn't actually make it to the auction barn as this place is huge and I was exhausted just walking through the swap meet areas, but are planning to make another trip to check it out in the near future.

After Denio's we headed over to our local SPCA to look at the puppies (and bunnies, cats and gerbals). They were all so cute but none of them said, "Take us home" in our hearts so we're still on our search for a new member of our family. It's a bit of a challenge because the ones we've been leaning towards in our research are not really appropriate for a child Joe's age so we're not sure what we're really looking for at this point.

After the SPCA we went to a new place that we'd never been called R15 (which is a bar/billards joint) and had dinner at the Bernardo's cafe which is attached to the bar. It was so good and it was a free meal since we had a gift card that Larry's sister had given us a few months earlier. I had the best soup - it was red lentils with apple and it was delicious. All of the food there was excellent and the desserts were to die for. I had triple layer chocolate cake while Larry had carrot cake and they were both so moist and rich in flavor.

Afterwards we headed over to visit with Chuck and Kelli and just hung out and conversed for an hour before leaving to pick up Joe. Of course Chuck had to give us a hard time about being "old" as we had dinner at 3:00 in the afternoon. Hey when you're hungry, you're hungry. And he didn't mind taking my left overs.

When we got to Crystal's her place looked like a tornado had ripped through it. Joe had toys strewn all over the place. Joe was exhausted and could barely keep his eyes open. They had taken him with them to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese and I'm not sure who got more of a work out out of running around and playing - Crystal or Joe. He loves spending time with her because she always plays with him and makes him laugh. They have a really special bond.

So once again Kudo's to my sister for giving us a pleasant and child-free day. It was great for my soul and for our relationship as sweethearts.

Sunshine - Woo Hoo

It was so beautiful outside today and sunshine is expected tomorrow too. This makes me happy. What makes me even happier is that my sister Crystal has agreed to take Joe for the day tomorrow so Larry and I can have some couple time. We're gonna take a road trip - where we don't know, but whereever we end up it will be great just because we're together and the sun will be shining.

We've toyed with the idea of going on the motorcycle, but then again we need to drop Joe off and it would limit how far we could go because I can't handle riding very long on the back of the bike these days. Boy that was a run on sentence. We'll see how we're all feeling in the morning.

Larry has a small cold and has really been feeling the affects today. I got him some nose spray, DayQuill gel caps, and warming Theraflu for tonight. Hopefully they'll help him kick this cold/sore throat in the behind. I can only hope.

Night has fallen and I'm still awake

Seriously I just went to bed about 14 minutes ago - took one of my heavy duty sleeping pills that are so strong I literally have to take them as I'm getting in to bed because otherwise I lose focus and go kinda crazy. Once the pill has been taken I can't take telephone calls, make important decisions, anything of matter has to wait until the pills wear off and I have a clear head.

So I crawl in to bed and cuddle up to Larry, who is like having my own personal heater under the covers. I just get comfortable and not threee minutes later I am in to much pain on the points making contact with the mattress; mainly my hips and shoulders. So I nudge Larry and tell him he's gonna have to cuddle me so I won't be in as much pain. He obliges and I swear is right back to sleeping and snoring in less that 30 seconds. It amazes me how quickly he goes into deep sleep. Oh what I wouldn't give for a couple of nights like that each week. Anyway, as we get settled and the warmth from Larry is starting to wrap around me, keeping the night chill away I think, "Ahhhh Im finally gonna get some good sleep tonight". JINX... did someone yell JINX because that's what I am - JINXed.

We here the faint calling from Joey's room followed by crying. I think okay I'll grab the bottle I made earlier, check to see if he needs a diaper change, and have him back to sleep in seconds. Yeah right, who do I think I am Houdini, or Super Nanny. NOT, NOT, NOT...I am just me so I do what I do best I talk to him softly. Tell him its time to go back to nite-nite, lightly rub his back, try to give him his bottle but no, he is having none of it. He wants Mommy. So I crawl into the crib with him and we get situated, I start all the things that usually soothe him - singing quietly, rubbing his back and head, making sure his bottle is within in reach, but still no change in his demeanor.

Larry gets up to see what's going on and suggests that we take him back to our bed with us. I don't think that's such a good idea because then Larry won't get peaceful sleep and he has to be up at 3 AM for work and ready to tackle the issues on the job as soon as he walks through there door. I tell him to go back to bed and I'm gonna just try this for a bit. After about 10 minutes, a does of Ibuprofen and a does of Baby Tylenol, he's calmed down. I tuck him in with Eyor and Pink Piggy, cover him with his favorite quilt cousin Ranel made him, tuck his bottle next to his arm and give him a kiss on the forheaad and say "Sweet Dreams". And then I'm outta there.

The problem now is I've missed that small window of opportunity my sleeping pill provides to allow me to fall asleep for at least 2, maybe 3 hours of good rest. So now what do I do? Go back to bed and lay there watching the numbers on the clock roll over, just give up now because I know I won't get good sleep now, or take one more sleep pill that's a little lighter and see if that we be enough to bring me back in to slumber land. I get to spend so little time there, getting good rest, most nights I'm lucky if I get 3 solid hours of sleep without waking up with pain, and then the emotional piss match in my mind kicks in about how unfair this is and how am I expected to be productive on any level at all with little or no sleep.

You know it's a vicious cycle. You need sleep so your body has a chance for restoration, key elements that only take place during your REM cycles, but in my case my physical pain keeps putting obstacles in that particular path from not being able to lay in any one position long, to not being able to shut off my thoughts - if I'm feeling this badly now, what will tomorrow look like? Will I have the energy and the range of motion I need to even do the simple things like shower, get Joe dressed. Things most people don't have to give much thought to, but they are constantly on my mind because I don't want to let my son down, or Larry, or my family. That simple life I've always dreamed of having seems so far away from my reality I wonder if it's ever even going to be possible to get close to it, let alone achieve it.

Stress, Stress, and more stress

As if dealing with Joe's teeth isn't enough, I just got "reviewed" by Social Security (their doctor's) and they've decided I'm not in enough pain to continue receiving my disability benefits. I feel so much worse now physically and emotionally than I did when they first approved my benefits that I don't understand how they came to their determination. I spent exactly 20 minutes with two different doctors - one to question the physical, another the emotional aspect and apparently their opinion matters more than the team of doctors I've been seeing for the past few years.

So now I have to go through an appeals process - a letter stating why I feel I am still considered disabled, fill out some SS forms, get copies of all my doctors records, get letters and/or personal statements from friends and relatives that can verify my decreased capabilities physically and mentally, etc. Can you say stressful? I can - STRESSFUL.

I am already so tired, don't hardly sleep even with sleep medication, have difficulty turning my mind "off", and now I have this to deal with. Larry says we can get a disabiity attorney to fight this for me, or with me, but then they get a percentage of my benefits and we can't really afford that.

It pisses me off because I know people who receive benefits and are not really injured or ill, and here I am doing my best with the limitations my body places on me and I'm the one being denied benefits that I've paid into since I was 15 years old. It's just ludicrous.

Please send your positive vibes my way because I'm gonna need all the help I can get to get through this ordeal.

Boo Hoo

Poor Joe. He has really been feeling under the weather for the last couple of days. Not eating (his favorite thing to do), sleeping a lot - but only for short periods before he wakes up cranky and crying, walking like he's a drunk... I think you get the picture. Anyway I took him in to see his physician today because I'm thinking ear infection, but everything looked good except he is cutting a couple of molars. So we think that is the culprit, but we're gonna keep a watch on things and if his fever gets higher (it's been running around 100.5), or he breaks out with a cough or congestion, then we'll take him back in. Other than that I can only try to make him comfortable.

Daddy's trying too - he brought home Otter Pops from Pop-pop tonight and gave him one which actually brought a smile to his face.

I hope he gets better soon because it breaks my heart to see him miserable.